Rock Me To Sleep
by WP
Summary: Song fic Spashley set after 2x02


-1**AN:** Song is by Jill Sobule, it was played at end of 2-08 and you can dl it on her website. Enjoy.

**Rock Me To Sleep**

_Six in the morning  
Been up since three  
I wish I had somebody to rock me to sleep  
The sun won't be melting these snowy white sheets  
Wish I had somebody to rock me to sleep  
Rock me to sleep  
Rock me to sleep  
Wish I had somebody to rock me to sleep_

Spencer laid a kiss on Ashley's soft hair as she whimpered in her sleep again. Her girlfriends head was resting on her chest as there arms were wrapped tightly around one another with Ashley's body cuddled tightly into her own.

It'd been 12 hours since the news report had echoed in Ashley's room. Since she'd watched her new found love crumple to the floor and cry for the only family she had that actually cared about her.

But she did have Spencer, that's what she'd told her when she rushed the house earlier that night when Ashley had stopped taking her calls. She had learned early on that Ashley tried to deal with everything alone, she didn't find it easy to let herself be vulnerable with people.

But Spencer wasn't going to let Ashley lock herself away with this. She knew her mother wasn't even in the city and wasn't coming home till at least the next day - something about New York being a better place to be in such a 'climate'.

When she'd tried to tell her mom and dad she was staying at Ashley's to take care of her, her mother had tried to stop her. Or 'disencourage' her but either way she wasn't allowing it to happen. Her dad had helped her convince Paula that this was something she had to do.

Glen had dropped her off without any Paula like comments and she was thankful for that. All she wanted to do was hold Ashley.

_The book on the bedstand  
The little TV  
The drink and the ashtray  
Keep watch over me  
The long dark shadows of the sycamore tree  
Wave and keep me company  
Keep me company  
Company_

Spencer found her sitting against the wall in the dark. Well, all dark except the paused face of her father on the TV screen.

There was a bottle of JD with only the neck gone. She later found out that Ashley couldn't even drink, there was nothing left in her to fight so she'd just sat there until Spencer got there and sat down next to her slipping her arm around her shoulders.

She'd never seen someone so broken before and it terrified her. Ashley was strong but a person can only take so much. How was she meant to help her? It's not like she could just say, "It's ok, it won't seem so bad in a month."

She had never lost anyone she loved before. She'd never even been to a funeral. She couldn't say anything to make it better so she just didn't say anything. Instead she held Ashley, kissed her, wiped her tears and just tried to make her feel safe.

She tried to let her know she was loved and that she always would be.

_Rock me to sleep  
Rock me to sleep  
I wish I had my mother  
I wish I had my father back  
I wish I had my baby  
I wish I had somebody to rock me to sleep_

After a few hours sitting on the floor followed by Ashley screaming at her trying to convince her to leave, the brunette realised that Spencer wasn't going to leave. And she'd cried again because the love she felt was just too much to cope with when she felt like her inside's were being put through a mincer.

Eventually she'd cried herself out. There were no tears and her throat and head ached from sobbing but Spencer held her all the same. She knew it was late and that Ashley must be beyond exhausted so she began to rock them softly.

"When I was really young, I had tonsillitis all the time. When we were on tour, I used to get it and I wouldn't be able to sleep cause my throat and ears would be so sore." Ashley broke the hours of silence with her hoarse, thick voice. "My d- He would come off stage and check on me and he would put on old folk record's and rock me till I fell asleep." Ashley's voice barely made it to the end of sentence before she started shaking with dry sobs again.

Spencer just tightened her grip and ran her hand up and down Ashley's back. "Do you want me to stop?" She asked referring to the rocking that'd brought up memories of her dad.

She felt Ashley's finger's digging into her arm. "No. Please don't stop, I don't want to forget."

She kept rocking her and kissed her cheek. "I won't let you."


End file.
